Where Are We Going?
If we’re being honest, most of us chiropractors just want the people who come to us to get on board with our flavor of Chiropractic and follow our plan for them—single file, smiling faces, with cheers and applause. Nearly every coach will lead you in this general direction, and rightly so in part. Our role is to lead them to health by the path we’ve established.
Reality checkpoint: It’s a wide diversity of people that walks in your door. They all accept that you know essentially what you’re doing, but they have either a minimally to elaborately conceived framework of what they’re expecting you to deliver. Bridging the gap between those two frameworks can be a bit treacherous sometimes.
If we don’t direct traffic over the bridge we’ve created, they’ll either find their own way or leave.
Build A Better Bridge
Influence = the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. Literally, the word means to “flow into.” Where do you want them to flow?
But, they’re humans, not cattle. They’re a person with experiences, opinions, data, and TikTok vids.
Answering this question of where we would like them to flow includes 1) Discovering their current location, 2) Determining the most efficient & effective route, 3) Discerning their will to be led.
Discovering Their Current Location
I like to think of that New Patient visit as a First Date. Not nerves and awkwardness, but discovering who they are and revealing who I am. My diffusing and door opening question is, “What’s going on & how can I help?” With one ear I’m listening for the doctor stuff, but with the other ear I’m listening for their understanding of Chiropractic. What do they think it’s for? What effect or result are they expecting? Do they perceive it as a quick fix or ongoing care for the body?
I’m listening for all of the things I know Chiropractic to be and how I’ve chosen to deliver it. I’m also listening for what kind of person they are. Reading them… their NonVerbals (60-90% of our communication) like facial expressions, making or not making eye contact, how they hold their mouth, arm positions, hand movements, position in the chair, and so much more. Their Vocals or how they deliver their words, the pace, cadence, volume, pitch and so on. And their Verbals or actual word choices. Do they talk about pain, symptoms, muscles and joints or do they talk about health (restoring & keeping it), wellness, lifestyle, and all of what you focus on delivering.
When it’s my turn, I don’t hold back. We really have nothing to lose. Somewhere in my response I’ll say, “I’m ‘old school Chiropractic.’ And what I mean by that is that we understand that the brain and nervous system is the master controlling system over every organ, cell, system and tissue in the body. Because this system is so vital to your overall healthy function our focus as Chiropractors is to take care of the pathway of your nervous system. The spine. I’ll also include language around the idea that it begins with care of babies and why and ideally we just take care of people’s spines so their nervous system can function unhindered their entire life.
Determining The Most Efficient & Effective Route
With all of this information gathered and conveyed we can calculate the route. Earlier in my career there were fewer people who knew what I was about, making their journey more of a jungle expedition than a walk in the park. But, as I stayed the course over the weeks, months, and years, the percentage of people who begin at a more similar location to what I offer is much higher.
With some we’ll need incremental baby steps to gently nudge or hold their hand until they either embrace or reject the offer while others are ready to cruise. Based on the discoveries of the type of person they are like an analytical person craving more data, logic and studies while abstract, big picture concepts and an inspirational vision of what’s possible are more appealing to the intuitive types. I’ve found it to be beneficial to cater both the content and presentation of the message to each person as best as I can.
What’s the one universal format that has a powerful impact on just about any type of audience?
Story.
Chiropractic is an amazing story. Not so much how it came to be—although the analyticals do seem to like that—but the story of the intersection of Chiropractic and Humanity. The transformational, restorational, unbelievable stories impacted by Chiropractic. By you. Even when explaining some of the nuts and bolts of what I’m doing in the adjustment or when they don’t understand why they aren’t making improvements as quickly as they’d hoped I use a lot of stories. Stories link our experience to something real and tangible and hopeful, or at least possible.
Discerning Their Will To Be Led
Their “will” be done. This is language we don’t really use any more, but it reminds us that they have to choose to follow. They are actually surrendering their will to you. Our will is what we want. If they don’t have confidence in your ability to get them where they want to go or don’t align with your map, they won’t want to go anywhere with you.
In some cases that’s sad. We missed the mark in some way that is keeping a beautiful human from experiencing a better, richer, fuller life. That’s on us.
In others it’s a relief. As the dad of 6 kids, I can vouch for the agony of dragging small, strong willed humans somewhere they don’t want to go. While still sad, for reasons already mentioned, It’s a struggle I don’t want to endure, nor do I want the rest of my Chiropractic Family to be infected by their lack of congruence.
If they are just coming to you to get what they want, but not what you’re actually offering, you’re just being used. And, being used feels… icky. But, when their desire for something and your delivery of something are the same something it’s down right fun, wonderful, fulfilling, and worth doing over and over again.
In Part 2 I’ll share some very practical tools particularly in what we can do to be more influential without being bossy or manipulative.